Tonight, while showering, I started to think about how lousy my shampoo and conditioner are. I mean, I can never just wear my hair down because it is always so dry. I used to always wear it down. But at some point, I started buying everything -even my shampoo, my nail polish, my soap- at Whole Foods Market.

I did this almost entirely because I am afraid of getting cancer. I thought of how, after losing two aunts to that awful disease to end all diseases, I went into panic protocol and ditched anything that had a whiff of cancer to it…I’m looking at you, Harmon’s.

Then, I thought about my mom. How healthy she is. How I could never imagine…

This was the point at which I found myself weeping in the shower. Because this is one of my greatest worries. Call it worry, call it fear, call it whatever. Cancer.

But I wouldn’t have it. I took a deep breath. I wiped my eyes. I turned the water hotter. And I reached for my all-natural, very safe, keep-away-cancer lousy shampoo.